Do you ever hate your husband? If the answer is yes, then you’re in good company. American journalist and New York Times bestselling author Jancee Dunn’s latest book How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids is a hilariously candid account of her own personal quest to save her post baby marriage and restore family bliss with the help of the latest relationship research as well as good solid advice from no-messing-around experts.
After Jancee Dunn had a baby, she found herself doing most household chores, even though she shared equal working hours with her husband as professional journalists. She is very open about all the issues surrounding the birth of a child and the changes in the couple dynamics and she tries to firstly observe her friends’ problems then request professional help to avoid animosity in her marriage.
Jancee Dunn shares bitter and resentful feelings towards her husbands with her friends but before breaking up the family for the sake of her child and in the name of what it was love prior to the baby, she looks at what has gone wrong over time and what can be easily done to restore a balance.
After a child is born women’s lives dramatically change while husbands’ lives remain quite the same (from their perspective).
While reading this sort of memoir I found myself nodding furiously in full agreement and marking some pages with great practical advice which I am going to try and implement in my own family unit. Everybody needs to restore harmony at some level. I don’t know a single woman who can tell me a different story. If there are, they are unique and very lucky indeed.
What most expectant parents tend to do before the birth of a child is spending lots of time researching the best equipment to buy for the baby, but forget (or do not think this is important yet) to consider the impact of a new demanding human addition to the family and marriage.
One of my favourite chapters talks about Jancee Dunn’s consultation with an FBI hostage negotiator who teaches her how to effectively contain an “explosive situation.” She then writes it up in the form of actionable and achievable advice.
At times the self-aid book is narrated like a novel, and this makes it easy to read. At the end, Jancee and her husband manage to work together to save their marriage and restore the family harmony. It’s not a novel so you would have guessed this otherwise she would have not written this manual in the first place.
I also love how Jancee describes how women feel about their partners who only do the ‘fun’ bits with the kids such as playing in the park, reading a story but then magically disappear when it’s time to change a nappy, impose punishments and make children follow their daily routines or do their homework.
The verdict
Jancee Dunn is honest, smart and funny. Her truthful writing style makes me feel understood and less alone with my issues in the world.
If there’s maybe one book to gift a mum-to-be I’d recommend How Not To Hate Husband After Kids.
This book can’t do the washing but it might just save a few marriages.
London Mums’ rating: 7/10
