Now, there are a lot of tips out there for those who are deciding that now is the perfect time to get pregnant. Overall, it’s both thrilling and a bit terrifying. Suddenly, the idea of parenthood shifts from being a far-off dream to a very real possibility, and that comes with a lot of questions. Actually, the biggest tip of them all is to ask questions before anything happens. Besides, having some important conversations (no matter how uncomfortable they are) before diving into the baby-making journey can make a world of difference. So, with all of that said, here are a few key questions that every couple should ask themselves when they’re trying for a baby. Yes, they can be uncomfortable, but these really are necessary.
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Are We Ready for the Big Changes?
This is a commitment for the rest of your lives, even after your child turns 18. So, it’s important to ask yourselves if you’re both ready for the major lifestyle changes that come with parenthood. Everything from your daily routine to how you spend your weekends (hello, nappies, and sleepless nights!) will be affected.
So, you’ll also need to take a moment to think about the practical side. Are you both prepared to juggle work, home life, and a baby? How will you handle those inevitable sleepless nights?
What If We Face Fertility Challenges?
Here’s a tough one, but it’s crucial: what if getting pregnant doesn’t happen as quickly as expected? For some couples, the road to conception is a smooth one, but for others, it can take time and sometimes even medical intervention. This is where having a chat about fertility comes in.
Now, are you open to seeking help from a fertility clinic if needed? Can you afford this? Are both people open to this? Surprisingly, a lot of people in the relationship are against this (which isn’t fair), so you need to ask this. The same goes for adoption; if IVF just doesn’t go as planned, are both parties open to this? How about a surrogate or even egg or sperm donations?
Overall, just discussing this upfront can help you out in setting realistic expectations. Again, a lot of fallout in relationships happen here because of conflicting values in “getting help”.
How Strong Is Our Relationship?
So, this goes back to the above, but fertility struggles can test even the strongest of relationships. The stress, emotional roller-coasters, and the pressure to conceive can put couples under serious strain. In fact, many relationships hit a rough patch (or worse) when things don’t go as smoothly as expected. So, take a step back and ask yourselves: how strong is your relationship right now?
Are We Ready Financially?
While sure, babies may be small, but the costs that come with them are anything but! Just think about it, there’s the nappies to nursery furniture to childcare, the expenses can quickly add up. That’s before you even consider the long-term costs of raising a child (hello, university fees!).
Do We Share the Same Parenting Values?
Before you welcome a tiny human into your life, it’s important to get on the same page when it comes to parenting. How do you feel about discipline? Education? How about screen time? Sure, these might not be things you’ve thought much about yet, but discussing them now can help avoid any clashes later on.
