Parenting – it’s that job where everyone has an opinion, but you’re the one who has to figure it out. And while every generation swears that their way is the best, we can learn a lot from our predecessors. Before we had smartphones and 24/7 parenting podcasts, people still managed to raise resilient and resourceful children. So, how can past parenting styles help us out today?
Tough love vs. gentle parenting
Parenting used to be all about discipline – no questions asked. Kids didn’t have much room to negotiate or express their feelings. As modern parents have embraced emotional intelligence, they have become far more lenient. The question is: where do we find the balance? How do we teach children discipline while treating them with empathy?
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Learning responsibility
Back in the day, kids were expected to roll up their sleeves and pitch in. They had responsibilities that usually mirrored what adults around them did, like taking care of younger siblings or learning a trade. Of course, modern kids might not need to milk cows at dawn. They even have tools like custom essay writing services to help them with homework. But giving them more responsibilities helps build independence and problem-solving skills. They should be able to contribute to their household in a meaningful way, whether through chores or decision-making opportunities.
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Building discipline
Now, let’s be clear: discipline from the past was sometimes brutal. Corporal punishment was a normal everyday thing, and kids were expected to obey without question. We’ve evolved quite a bit from that, but the core principle of discipline still stands – children need boundaries. They have to learn that their actions have consequences. Too much leniency will only make them confused about expectations. So while we’ve ditched the wooden spoon approach, we still need to ground kids, have constructive conversations about their mistakes, and find other ways to discipline with love.
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Connecting emotionally
Families of old didn’t have Netflix to distract them, so they connected through storytelling, shared activities, or just sitting down for a meal together. That sense of togetherness is something we could use more of today. Sure, modern parenting focusses a lot on nurturing emotional intelligence, and that’s fantastic. But let’s not forget that we communicate emotions not just through words but through actions. Sit together, cook dinner, read a bedtime story, or do a puzzle. Kids need structure, but they also need a place where they feel loved and safe.
Community in parenting
Historically, parenting wasn’t a solo job. Neighbours, extended family, and even the community as a whole often pitched in to help raise children. It was the classic “it takes a village” scenario. But modern parents find themselves isolated, juggling work, home life, and their own sanity without much help. How can we find the power of community again?
Shared responsibility for stronger families. It wasn’t uncommon for extended family members to play active roles in raising kids. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins would often live close by or even in the same household. This kind of shared responsibility didn’t just lighten the load for parents – it made sure kids grew up with diverse role models and mentors. Not many modern families have the luxury of a big, close-knit family living next door. But we have neighbourly relationships, co-parenting groups, and local community centres to compensate for that.
Rebuilding the ‘village’ in a digital age. While we no longer rely on living in village-like communities, the digital age offers us new ways to build that sense of togetherness. Social media and online networks have made it possible for parents to find support and advice from others who are going through the same things. But there’s also the potential for a more hands-on parenting styles – you can search for local playgroups, cooperative childcare arrangements, and parenting co-ops. The village isn’t gone – it’s just evolved. And the help you need can be a few clicks away.
Social learning and influence. Kids didn’t always have school every day in the traditional sense. Instead, they learnt by watching and imitating their parents and other adults in the community. We may have formal schooling, but the idea of social learning is still important. Kids need exposure to different perspectives and experiences – whether through playgroups, travel, or community projects. They learn not just from books but from interacting with people around them. This is how they find their place in the world and develop valuable social skills.
Parenting is still hard, no matter the era, but there’s comfort in knowing that some of the best practices haven’t changed all that much. They’ve just evolved along with society. The best approach to parenting styles might be a fusion of both worlds – compassionate yet firm, supportive yet encouraging autonomy. This is how parents can create a nurturing environment that prepares kids for the future – without losing their sanity in the process.