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Solo and thriving: The upside of being single on Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is often painted as a holiday for couples, filled with candlelit dinners, grand gestures, and an overwhelming sea of heart-shaped everything. But what if you’re single? Should you retreat under a blanket and pretend the day doesn’t exist? Absolutely not! In reality, Valentine’s Day hasn’t always been about romantic love. In fact, some of its origins are far from romantic – legend has it that Emperor Claudius II banned marriages for young men, believing single soldiers made better warriors. St. Valentine defied this decree and married couples in secret, ultimately leading to his execution. And let’s not forget the mediaeval tradition where single people would draw names from a bowl to find their Valentine – a bit like historical speed dating! If history tells us anything, it’s that Valentine’s Day is what you make of it. Whether you’re single on Valentine’s Day by choice or circumstance, here’s how to make the day about self-love, empowerment, and fun.

Valentine red rose flower

1. Treat Yourself Like a VIP

Valentine’s Day is often about showering others with love – so why not turn that attention inward? Studies show that practising self-care and self-appreciation boosts mental health and confidence.

Book yourself a fancy dinner (table for one, please!), buy that gift you’ve been eyeing, or plan a ‘treat yo’ self’ day filled with whatever makes you happiest. If you love flowers, order a bouquet. If sweets are your thing, indulge in some gourmet chocolates without having to share.

2. Celebrate Friendship – Galentine’s or Palentine’s Style

Who says romance should take centre stage? Valentine’s Day is a great excuse to celebrate friendships. The concept of ‘Galentine’s Day’ was popularised by Parks and Recreation’s Leslie Knope, who dedicated 13th February to honouring her female friends.

Plan a game night, a dinner out, or even a mini gift exchange with friends. If history has taught us anything, it’s that Valentine’s Day traditions change over time – so why not create your own?

3. Dive Into a New Hobby or Challenge

Want a lasting Valentine’s gift? Invest in yourself. Studies show that learning a new skill increases happiness and self-esteem. Always wanted to try a dance class, learn a language, or cook something fancy? Now’s the perfect time to start.

Not into learning? Set yourself a fun challenge instead – maybe it’s a day without social media, cooking a three-course meal, or watching an entire film in another language. Make the day memorable for you.

4. Laugh at the Weirdness of Love

Instead of drowning in sappy rom-coms, why not enjoy the stranger side of love? Did you know that in South Korea, Valentine’s Day is just one part of a multi-month romance calendar? Women give men chocolates on 14th February, men return the favour on 14th March (White Day), and singles get their own day on 14th April (Black Day), where they eat black noodles to celebrate their singlehood.

Or take a look at some of history’s worst Valentine’s Day gifts – like Henry VIII’s infamous love letters to Anne Boleyn, written while he was still married, or the bizarre tradition of ‘Vinegar Valentines’ in the Victorian era, where people sent insulting cards to unwanted suitors. Sometimes, being single is a blessing!

5. Have a Themed Movie Marathon (that isn’t just romance)

Sure, you could watch a rom-com, but why not shake it up? Whether it’s an action-packed night of superhero flicks, a nostalgia-fest of childhood favourites, or even a horror marathon (because nothing says ‘love’ like a good jump scare), make it an experience.

Want a little romance with a twist? Try unconventional love stories like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Legally Blonde (because self-love wins), or even The Princess Bride for laughs and adventure.

6. Reflect and set personal goals

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about looking for love – it can be about looking forward. Studies show that taking time for self-reflection increases happiness and motivation. Use the day to check in with yourself:

  • What are you proud of this year?
  • What new experiences do you want to have?
  • How can you be kinder to yourself moving forward?

Write yourself a love letter or jot down things you appreciate about yourself. A little self-love goes a long way.

7. Remember: Love comes in many forms

The commercialisation of Valentine’s Day may make it seem like romance is the only thing worth celebrating, but love comes in countless forms – love for family, for friends, for pets, and most importantly, for yourself.

At the end of the day, being single on Valentine’s Day isn’t a curse – it’s an opportunity. Whether you spend the day spoiling yourself, laughing with friends, or embracing new experiences, make it a celebration you enjoy. Because the best relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself.

 

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Monica Costa founded London Mums in September 2006 after her son Diego’s birth together with a group of mothers who felt the need of meeting up regularly to share the challenges and joys of motherhood in metropolitan and multicultural London. London Mums is the FREE and independent peer support group for mums and mumpreneurs based in London https://new.londonmumsmagazine.com and you can connect on Twitter @londonmums
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