Yesterday morning LBC Radio called me to comment on Cherie Blair’s attack to women who prefer to stay at home, but unfortunately I had a dentist appointment and could not do the interview. Here is my response.
I get really upset when people say ‘Oh well, as you are at home you can do this and that..’. Actually, being a stay at home mum and (worse!) a multitasking mumpreneur can be a really daunting task sometimes. You don’t just have the full responsibility for the kids, the household and the wellbeing of the family but also for the business or businesses you run from your own home. It’s ironically easier to delegate childcare to a nanny or a nursery/school. Over the years I have had tons of messages from mums who decided to go back to work to ‘relax’ and ‘have an easier life’.
I don’t know if this is so extreme but being a stay at home mumpreneur is really tough. I have often found myself on the phone with business clients and my child screaming for attention in the other room. Or having to work late at night … All the mumpreneurs out there would totally relate to that. Every day I get emails from other mumpreneurs at midnight. That’s the best time to work when you are doing millions of jobs at the time ….
So dear Cherie Blair, your attack on ‘yummy’ mummies (who by the way don’t feel at all yummy due to the lack to time spent on becoming ‘yummy’) “dangerous” lifestyle, delivered at Fortune Magazine’s Most Powerful Women event in Claridge’s, sounds rather out of touch.
Deciding to become a mumpreneur over a promising career is very hard, but it is very rewarding if you manage to survive the first few years of tough working while dealing with the kids’ upbringing full time.
One of the drives for many professional women to start their own home business is that they want to spend quality time with their children while finding their own business niche and fulfilling a life dream. This is all possible. But even if you decide to be a stay-at-home mum, you find yourself being always at everyone’s disposal, acting as an entertainer, cleaner, financial controller, project manager etc etc
Everybody should be left free to do what they want to do. Even the main book character from ‘I don’t know how she does it’ tries to have a banking career while raising a young family but in the end she finds her own path and decides to start her own business.
We asked Margot Bloom, a Lifestyle Management Coach who works with businesses and people to find their ultimate work/life balance, what she thinks of Cherie Blair’s comments. Margot works closely with the theory that creating time by working more smartly is the sure fire way to a ‘tidy life’, so when it comes to balancing her business with her family she is an expert at making sure everything is run smoothly!
On hearing Ms Blair’s comments yesterday, Margot has come up with 5 tops tips in store for getting the balance right as a working mother:
“Whilst I agree in part with Mrs Blair, working parents do set a better example, but the work/life balance has to be right or the children will suffer from lack of attention and feelings of isolation and resentment towards the mothers job!
I do feel that in this age of virtual workplace women have a very real choice to work from their home and around their children and many are doing just that and very successfully.
Getting the balance right is the key for a working mother.
5 top tips
1. Actually schedule ‘me’ time
It is essential to take some uninterrupted time out to process what is going on in your life and to see what you need to do more clearly
2. Keep to office hours
Whatever office hours you chose – stick to them and make sure that family time is not impacted by work calls etc.
3. Hire a cleaner
It’s amazing how much can be done by someone who does not have to keep stopping to answer the phone or send an email – cost can be offset by not having to buy takeaways because kitchen is unusable.
4. Set smart phone to silent during family time
If you have clearly explained your working hours to everybody who maybe impacted by them, there is no guilt in leaving an email unanswered until you get back to the office.
5. ASK FOR HELP when things get too much
There is no shame in asking for help, many of us take pride in multi-tasking, but actually we should be more proud of finding the right people to delegate to and the way that we manage our lifestyle ….”
Read our inspiring mumpreneurs’ testimonials here https://new.londonmumsmagazine.com/category/mums-tips/mumpreneurs-mums-at-work
When we asked Mayor of London Boris Johnson ‘What can be done to improve female entrepreneurship, and grow existing female businesses in London?‘ he said: “Forums such as London Mums and Work Your Way are invaluable for forging new relationships, sparking ideas and providing advice in an easy, accessible way. For living proof of the dizzy career heights which are being reached by ambitious, talented and entrepreneurially-minded women in London, I need to look no further than my own team – Isabel Dedring, Rosie Boycott, Munira Mirza and Pamela Chesters are all outstanding female advisors of mine who are shaping London’s bright future. They are among many fantastic female role models in London who are step ping forward to instil confidence in the next generation of entrepreneurial women”.
Please let us know what you think by leaving your comments below.
Hi, FAB Blog Monica, you speak the truth and so many people out there think this is the easy option? Nothing like the 24 hour non stop work you do as a mother, never mind trying to run a business alongside it! LOVING the 5 top tips.
Lx
Thanks Liselotte! I am just trying to raise awareness for the fact that stay-at-home mums have the hardest job of all! I worked in the corporate world long enough to know both type of situations 🙂 Keep going as a mumpreneur as it will pay off in the long run!
Hi Monica
Thank you for speaking out. Cherie Blair is an intelligent women and therefore should know better (but clearly doesn’t) but like so many other women in the Corporate World, they appear to look down at SAHM / Mumpreneurs. Maybe they should give it a go and see how valuable the role is. Off to Tweet your blog now 🙂
Hi Monica I just want say that I completaly agree with your comment.
I am working in a nursery looking after babies, some of them are only few months old and they spend 11 ours in a nursery room every day.It’ s shame!
To be a mum is hard so it is easier to leave children to somebody else but is not healty for the little ones who need their mum which nobody else can substitute.
Also the nursery is very expencive. To be an efficient mother needs first a lot if courage
A really great response to Cherie Blair’s really rather provocative comments. Thank you.
Wow, I’ve just read some of what Blair said and find it amazingly arrogant. Well done you for challenging it. You clearly are doing what is right for you and your child. Doing what best for yourself and your child is probably the most difficult dilemmas that parents face.
Why shouldn’t a father pay the bills so that a mother can look after a child. How is this dependence a bad thing? If this is so that everyone who works for money is dependent on there employer. Ludicrous logic.
Unfortunately, I have to work (the paid variety) to look after my son. He is 3 next week. I would much rather be working (the looking after variety) at home to look after him. But he still relies on me. He relies on me to come home every evening; cook him Dinner and put him to bed. He relies on me to be in the house each evening and never leave him. If you can’t rely on your mum when your Three when can you.
Those who point fingers should expect them to be pointed back so I don’t feel guilty saying – Mrs Blair – You are clearly trying to justify a point that you have difficulty with yourself.
Children don’t need to be alienated by there parents to grow up healthy. quite the reverse – they need love and care.
How each parent loves and cares for there child is really there own business and really you are being incredibly rude and arrogant to assume you are the authority that can comment on how other people choose to live there lives…
I am very touched by all your comments, in particular Mary Jane response made me emotional! Thanks London Mums! You are fantastic people and this community is very powerful! Maybe Cherie Blair has never been able to share her frustrations with so many mums and get them out there as we do, hence her attack! Being part of such a great community of mums and mumpreneurs make me really proud! Thanks to you all!
Fantastic post. I agree with the 5 tips, in fact number 3 is so true, I avoided it at all costs and finally caved in about 2 months ago and it’s saving me so much time, what a cleaner can do in just 3 hours a week saves me probably double that time, time that I can then invest in my family and business and helps me cope a bit better. Thanks to that it’s money that I can recuperate easily.
I think one tip gets always left out though: educate the partners and I am not sure how this can be done, perhaps as bloggers we can help with that. Most dads I know, my husband included, thinks that weekend time is family time and instead at the weekends I crave for a bit of a break to put point 1 in practice and because I know that I can work much faster at night and weekends as you already pointed out 🙂 I actually think that partners need to realise that we need some alone time to invest as we wish.
Then it is a matter of educating society, Cherie Blair included.
Maria, I totally relate to the your comments particularly to the fact that partners need to be educated to the fact that working from home does not mean ‘I can do whatever I want all day’. Working as a mumpreneur requires an incredible self-discipline, something that is forced into you when you work in an office. We mumpreneurs tend to put ourselves at the bottom of the priority ladder and we forget that ‘Me Time’ is important to recharge the batteries that keep us going, and allow us to be great support for the family and the household finances.